Many a friend has excitedly tried to get me on the app to start reviewing pizzas there, but I have not done so. Quite simply, I'm not one to run with the pack.
Even though I have acquired some good pizza knowledge over my fifty plus trips around the sun, I will never proclaim myself an expert, nor boil down a pizza to a simple number rating with a snap judgement.
No, I prefer reviewing pizza in my own way, on my own terms.
I had high hopes for this pizza until I opened up the Box and took a gander at it. To me, it looked like any other run-of-the-mill frozen pizza. The toppings weren't much to write home about, and there was a serious lack of cheese.
I did notice that the crust was par baked, so I held out a little hope that the pie would redeem itself once cooked. I hate being so skeptical so early on, but I've eaten enough frozen pizza in my time, to be able to size up an uncooked pie pretty accurately (not a strange flex I promise you).
After thirteen minutes at 450 degrees, I cut a couple slices off for myself and proceeded with my taste test.
The crust - Nice and crispy on the bottom and end crust. A bit tough and dense higher up on the slice. I didn't get much flavor from the crust at all.
Sauce - Not bold enough for my liking. It seemed to get lost due to the type of cheese blend used.
Toppings - Way less cheese than I would have liked to see. The toppings are pretty much what I expected, nothing premium or fancy at all, sporting mass produced, processed, run of the mill pepperoni and tiny bacon & sausage crumbles.
There was some smokiness I tasted however, but it faded very quickly. The more I focused on the flavor, the more it felt kind of artificial to me.
Not sure if it was this smokiness, the sauce, or a combination of things that gave me a little bit of a weird aftertaste after finishing each slice.
Pizza Geezer rating
as far as frozen pizzas go..
2 out of 5 Slices!
I must admit that I was a little disappointed in this pizza. Dave Portnoy is a guy who knows pizza. I thought the founder of 'One Bite' would have wanted a better tasting pie to carry the company namesake.
However, maybe he didn't have much say, as he now only owns 1/3 of the company these days. Something interesting I noticed on the box, the pizza is a product of Canada.
For a frozen pizza, I would say it was okay. To tell you the truth, I would much rather spend half the money on a Red Baron pizza, which sports a preservative free crust and no artificial flavors.
I've said recently that Red Baron is surprisingly my current favorite budget frozen pizza on the market. You can see the review here on my other blog 'The Retro Dad.com'.
Let's be honest here. This pizza is a money grab, spring boarding off of the insanely popular 'One Bite' app, but I'm ok with that. The people who released this frozen pie knew their base consumers would be reviewing and critiquing this pizza mercilessly.
Heck, they probably even welcome the reviews good or bad. I don't think I would buy one of these pizzas again. It's not bad, but it's not good either.
By no means is this the worst frozen I've ever had, but there are just way too many more options out there I like better in the world of frozen pizza.